Divorce

Divorce is so much more prominent in todays world than it was back in the day. It just makes me so sad, I know that there are circumstances that people need to get out of something that is harmful and for their physical and spiritual safety they need to get out.  However today I think people are just giving up.  They just aren't "happy" anymore, but are they? Or is it they are just not trying anymore.  I have no idea I am not a therapist or doctor these are just the thoughts of my head.  I think that divorce comes in stages, first people argue, then they argue more.  After they stop arguing is when they realize that they are done, they have given up.  I am so glad that I married someone that even though I am far from perfect he puts up with me everyday and I know that he will never give up on me.

Parenting

Parenting is huge.  Its like the number one most stressful job in the world. There are so many different styles of parenting and there are millions of children in the world and every child is different.  I have been reading alot about the styles of parenting and the studies of Steinberg and Kohn.  A few of the principles that I love about parenting that are in these books are, that the child is the child.  Children are still children and I think that some parents struggle with that.  They want there children to remember what they want constantly and when they have a little tantrum its not okay.  However, children have tantrums! They are children.  Obviously we need to have some control and tell them that is not okay. Another thing that we need to remember is that the relationship with our children is more important than anything else in the world.  When there are battles happening and we want to stop them just remember that they are children and that we love them.

Fathers

Fathers are so important.  Hands down.  We have been studying whether or not fathers are important in the development of the children.  I was raised in a family where both my mom and dad were heavily present in my life and lead to be the person I am today.  My dad was a rockstar at being a dad, like he was there for everything.  He knew when to back off and give me space and he knew when to break into me and just let me know his thoughts.  I know that my dad was MY dad for a reason and that I was sent to the family I was.  There is hard research now that shows that families with out a father present they are more likely to live in poverty, get into drugs, and not do as well in education.  People need a father or father like figure in their lives.  The mom and dad both have different qualities to add to the development of the child and we need both sides of that.

Communication

Before my husband and I got married we talked about everything possible that we thought could come up in our future marriage.  Obviously we could not have been able to tell every issue that was going to come up in our lives.  However I do remember there was night that I said "communication is the biggest thing that we can do to make our marriage the best."  Now whenever I just shut down and dont want to talk my husband comes to me and says remember we are supposed to be communicating in a semi jokingly manner and then I just laugh and we talk about whatever we need to talk about. When two people are not communicating in a marriage just for instance, it is going to break down.  I can honestly tell you that deep communication with your spouse is huge.  My husband and I talk all the time, sometimes its too much, we tell each other everything.  I know that if we didnt do this than I wouldnt feel as important and then things would come up after they happened and then we would probably end up in an argument.    Its kind of funny because whenever we do have an argument its probably because we had a miscommunication.

The Family Under Stress

We talked this week about how in the family there are stressors and crises that will occur that impact the family.  Different stressors and crises are going to influence the family less and more every time.  Some of the examples we talked about were divorce, death in the family, poverty and many others.  I know that in my family we have luckily not had any deaths in my immediate family but we have had sicknesses.  I have four brothers in my family and there is one that is 14 months younger than me, he was diagnosed with cancer when he was in the 7th grade.  My dad was deployed Afghanistan or Iraq, (I cant really keep up with where or how many times now a days) so my mom was dealing with this news all on her own along with keeping up with the other 5 children she has.  The amount of stress that this added to our family was huge.  No one really knew what was going on and there were so many things that were unknown and that was a stressor on its own.  My dad came home early from his deployment and that helped obviously, then my brother had a port put into his heart that would take his chemotherapy straight through his body.  This was a time in our lives when the Savior became a main figure in our lives.  Now we already were very religious but as you can imagine why that was something that soared in our house.  I just know that because of our faith and the Saviors willingness in our family, is what led to my brother becoming cancer free and being able to live a great life now.  I know that stressors are common in life and that we just have to deal with them.

Intimacy in Marriage.

This topic is kind of funny, because I am married and pregnant so you could say I kind of have that down.  However I know that people who are not married might now know all of the details, Im not just talking about the physical part of intimacy.  There is a lot of factors that go into marital intimacy, it is such an emotional experience and both people have to feel safe and loved by the other person.  There are differences in women and men physically that happen when becoming intimate and those things sometimes create difficulty in marriage.  There are times that people don't feel safe and then they avoid marital intimacy as a whole.  When people avoid this the relationship becomes strained and people will not stop communicating and then other problems will occur.  Marital intimacy is huge to keeping the relationship happy and being the best partner that you can be.

Halloween week post!

We talked about weddings and marriage this week, I thought this was a very interesting topic because some people think that the wedding will be influential on their marriage. I, on the other hand know that these things have nothing to do with each other.  I know that I had absolutely amazing wedding weekend and that all of my family was there to celebrate with me and I know that it was just everything I wanted.  Heres the best part, about getting married, you get to marry your best friend that you fell in love with.  I was sealed in the temple and I know I have an eternal family and marriage as long as I do my part!  Marriage can be really hard sometimes and at the beginning if we are just stressing and stressing about the wedding then we aren't really having the best start to our marriage.  The thing is that we need to know that there are differences in a good wedding, and a good marriage.  I have only been married for a short amount of time but I have come to realize that communication is the number one thing in a good marriage. I love my husband and I love that I have the counsel that I have from the gospel.